The Walk

How long could I continue this? Starting my every single day of the year with walk followed by yoga, a cup of green tea and last but not the least an apple. Growing up as a lean girl to plump flabby young woman, I am finding it harder to get back in my prior structure. Just when I am at my blossoming age, I look (read feel) more withered. Ouch! That sure hurts. In pursuit of attaining a perfect shape , I forced my sluggish soul to get up early this morning and start with what could save me “The Walk”. Now I am not any aspiring model or blah blah but I do not mind at all to look like one. Since I am working on one of my projects i.e. “back with vengeance” (after being absolutely absent and inactive for a long time) 
I needed to walk.

From philosophical point of view, my walk started with Dell. Seven months of affair with dell followed by return to my soil, exploring and comprehending my culture, experiencing living with my own people, sharing their love etcetera. It takes a whole lot of courage for me every time I look back at the past seven daunting years of my life. Apparently it’s taking me longer than expected to bounce back and thereafter progress. How long? Isn’t it long enough already? May be I am one of those who gets stuck up once in a sarkari naukri and the walk turns into a standstill forever. You start reeking like stagnant water with a rusted brain. All you do is curse Govt. day and night. Do I have any right to be insanely cynical about our government,When I am god dam myself a high time procrastinator, a hypocrite and in competitive! With youth like me this country sure is riding on ‘Highway to Hell’. But contrary to my fear I hear a lot of fuss over ‘Next Gen’; India’s shining bright future and all those politically correct things about us!

Wow do I feel good to be part of this over-hyped attention we are getting? A weak guilty voice inside me said hell no you looser! You are not even an inch closer to be part of this dynamic young force your contemporaries make. Shoo away!!

I am a pathetically boring simple next door girl but I think over everything that surrounds me and I think deep (mostly on the mundane events I come across and observe) and hence may be write deep. If not anything I feel joy in writing expressing myself. It makes me feel safe and secure and just like thinking it opens new door and takes you to new highs of self –realization. Enlightens your soul by constant reasoning, justifying rights and wrongs, analyzing, learning and imbibing the much greater nuances of life!  

and the The Walk not literally but philosophically does continue for me through writing :)

Bogus.

I am home after seven long years, this time for longer than usual period. My stay at home has become ‘a dive into childhood memories and fantasies’. I spent seven long years in Chandigarh, a far different world from my hometown Kullu, for my education. As a kid, I would  fantasize about having that one true best friend with whom I could share, laugh, cry, and swear by anything anytime, a friend who could be my partner in crime and folly.

Since I was home for long time my bhabhi requested that, I teach her boys until am here. I obliged. Yesterday was my first day with the boys, elder one studying in 3rd  and younger one in 1st. In about half an hour, I realized both are pretty smart. I cannot resist to have some fun when am with kids so I decided to take a short break. Somehow, they loved me and soon the boys were rolling laughing on floor with my mimicry, doing impressions of cartoon characters making funny faces etc. (Watching the boys’ love me so much, a movie started to play in my head; how fun and cool it would be to come everyday teach them and later play all sorts of games, go cycling, eating out and god knows what not). I had just started to fly with joy, it was then my bhabhi barged in and with no second thought smacked the elder one twice with a stick who was at that time bouncing on the floor. It was late for me to defend the kid. I did not utter a word neither did the boys. I felt a pinching pain in my heart (and angry for spoiling the sweet movie I was playing in my head) .Unfazed, bhabhi left the room threatening the kid not to make any more noise and better study. My eyes fixed on the boy’s innocent face I could see the tears rushing down his soft cheeks. Hoping that boy would stop crying out of embarrassment, I waited. What was I doing I thought to my self, he was still a kid not a teenager. I went up to him, brought him closer looked at his face (I almost wept, though somehow controlled) and whispered in his ears ‘don’t worry am here and this will never happen’. After this incident, we studied quietly for half an hour more. Nobody said anything. I left after having dinner with the kids. The kids were back to normal, playing. All the way to home I kept wondering why the thought of playing and having fun with the kids occurred to me at all? This does not happen to young normal people of my age. Or may be to only those who still long to have that one best friend. I was surprised the child in me still longed for a best friend.

If not anybody an imaginary friend would have been more than enough just like in movie ‘BOGUS’ :)